Short people got no reason to live…

So the D&C threw me a bone today. They concocted a list of the most famous short men in American history. I’m not sure why they published the list, apparently us short guys needed a morale boost.

I, for one, find myself overcome with a renewed sense of inspiration and purpose. Because of this list I now know that the sky is the limit for we dudes of lesser stature. We could be anything we put our minds to – like President of the United States!

Or one of the Stooges…

Or a circus act for a Major League Baseball team…

Oh what’s the use? Randy Newman was right, we’ve got no reason to live.

Famous short guys in U.S. history:

1) John Adams (1735-1826) — A 5-foot-7 super patriot, diplomat and president. He loved Abigail, his books and his country.

2) U.S. Grant (1822-1885) — Generally tall for a short guy at 5-8, his coffin was built right here in Rochester.

3) Moe Howard (1897-1975) — Just a 5-foot-4 Stooge. His brother Samuel (Shemp) was 5-6; brother Jerome (Curly) was 5-5. Larry Fine was 5-4, pretty tall for a porcupine.

4) Eddie Gaedel (1925-1961) — The only little person to appear in a big league game. At 3-7, he pinch hit for the Browns against the Tigers in 1951, walking on four pitches. His uniform number was 1/8.

5) Mickey Rooney (1920-) — Made his first film in 1926 and is still making them. That’s 81 years. The first of his eight wives was Ava Gardner, placing the Mick in the Short Guy Hall of Fame by acclamation.


2 thoughts on “Short people got no reason to live…

  1. dude. 5’8″ is short? they should have found better examples. like verne troyer or that little dominican guy pedro martinez had on his shoulder in 2004…scratch that, not american. but what about that “de plane!” guy? or every single jockey. yeah, there’s more shorties out there.

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