Vasecto… me?

Cheryl and I have decided that this is going to be our last child. So after he’s born this summer, I’ll be getting a vasectomy.

For me, the excitement and anticipation of our new arrival has been somewhat offset by the looming sense of dread over what I’ve come to refer to as “V Day.” Lately, I find myself thinking about getting neutered more than I think about the arrival of our new son. The other night I even had a dream in which I was undergoing the procedure. Freaked me right the heck out.

I decided that I should probably start educating myself about the procedure; what it’s going to be like, what side effects I might suffer, etc. Then I did the absolute worst thing a man in my condition could possibly do. I watched the procedure on YouTube!

Hoooooorrible idea.

So now I think I need some counseling here. Any dudes out there who have already had a date with Dr. Snippy? Am I getting myself worked up over nothing? Should I flee the country?


51 thoughts on “Vasecto… me?

  1. rest assured, even if you have some aweful side effects it will all pale in comparison to what your wife has gone through once and will go through again! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. Shut up! I don’t need two of you reminding me what a wuss I’m being compared to what women endure!

    God gave you pain in childbirth as punishment! He never intended for razor sharp objects to be digging around our scrotoms!

  3. I just felt a punch in my gut.

    I still feel bad about having my dogs nuts removed recently. There are just some things that are meant to not be worked on, you know.

  4. i’ve heard for some guys it’s not that bad, no lingering effects, not much pain…and then there’s my brother-in-law…there’s no other way to put it than:

  5. I mean, I guess I’m glad they don’t do it like they do on the farm. (Tie ’em up with twine ’till they fall off.) But I refuse to believe that local anesthetic is going to make a lick of difference.

  6. @Mudpuppy: You know. I never understood why they remove the testicles on dogs and cats. There’s no reason to do it on people, why do it on pets? Why can’t they just corterize the vas for pets too?

  7. Man I didn’t think twice about it until after the fact. Just one of those “that’s the way it’s always been done” scenarios.

    Wish I had researched it a bit first.

    Poor guy.

  8. i want to get one right now. i don’t know if you knew my roomate from senior year, ben leavitt, but he got one…and he’s single. apparently it’s a statement against reproducing. i think i’ll do the same…and when i get married just let my wife think i’m full o’ blanks. good idea, right? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    but seriously, my brother in law needs to get one, but he’s scared. ben says it’s no big deal. go with the snip, butrose. i really don’t think anyone should have more than 2 children. and i don’t mean this in a judgemental way at all, but i simply don’t understand why anyone would want to have children, all things considered. i guess if i were married i might have a different view.

  9. Anyone who feels the need to make a “statement” against reproducing by sterilizing themselves is an effing moron. There I said it.

    I think people should have as many kids as they feel they can support (spiritually, emotionally, as well as financially) . For us, we capped it off at two. Up from none when we first were married.

    Have a hundred. Or have none. I couldn’t possibly care less what other people do.

    But I do</i have a problem with those who have chosen to have zero attempting – through their words, actions or attitudes against children – to diminish the blessings of those who have one, two, the ’72 Eagles, however many they want.

  10. i love my nephews & niece more than anything, and i know that having kids is an incredible blessing for most people i know who’ve had them. like i said, i’m not trying to be a judgemental prick, i just don’t understand personally. i’m sure if i get married that’ll change. but if it doesn’t, it wouldn’t be b/c i’d think i was “better” than those with kids or trying to take away their joy. it’d just be a personal choice in regard to how bleak the future looks and the present is, and questioning whether or not it’s right to bring a new life into it. i’ll most likely want to adopt either way.

  11. Dh got one after our 4th son. No pain during or for a few hours afterward. Very sore for the next 24 hours. He went in on a Friday and was back to his usual interests on Sunday. ๐Ÿ˜‰ He slept or watched movies most of Saturday.

    I think attitude on this issue can be learned. Dh has never been afraid of it. I remember a very odd dinner with his family when we were dating (just dating) where his father told a funny story about when he had his done and then told dh he expected him to be a man when the time came because women have things hard enough. LOL

    I hope we model that attitude with our own sons. Maybe not quite so macho, but definitely that ability to accept responsibility for sex and put the action into their convictions. (Plus expecting a woman to undergo full surgery vs. a 10 minute outpatient procedure is ridiculous.)

  12. Shane – we’ve had this conversation before and you know that neither Ashley or I currently have any desire for children. We love kids and are around them non-stop at our church… However, we don’t feel that having kids of our own is something that is right for us (at least not anywhere in the near future). I think, though, that our attitudes towards the issue has changed since we’ve been in Cincinnati and I hope that we do not come off nearly as harsh or anti-child as we once did.

    As for the surgery, I am very leery of it. I’ve had two male friends here in Cincinnati get it done. Both of them were very driven, motivated, energetic people before the procedure. Afterwards, they’ve mellowed considerably, and their drive has diminished greatly. As my good friend Scott says, “You can’t expect stallion production from a gelding…”

  13. @Tamara: Sunday sex is God ordained sex. My wife will be thrilled to know I’ll be hounding her so soon after surgery.

    @MattyJ: You laid out alot for me to digest, but let me at least say this …

    The pent up Napolean complex side of me welcomes the mellow yellow side for a change. If the ol’ snip/snap takes the edge off, fine with me. Although, I must admit that’s the first time I’ve read anything about that possible side effect. You sure they weren’t just prescribed marijuana to numb the pain?

  14. Ok. Like I said before a 4mm incision and a 6 minute procedure (3 min per side) is NOTHING compared to 10cm and hours upon hours of labor.

    I get that there is some physical recovery but seriously you could get this thing done 5 weeks after I have this kid and still recover before I do and with much less pain.

    As far as the emotional side effects, I think you’ll get over it. (Sorry to be insensitive but all of you men are seriously whiny when it comes to your “junk”.)

    And by the way it takes a little while to “take” so you aren’t exactly safe on Sunday. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Anyway, all of that said you know I would never make you go through with something you are terrified of or uncomfortable with, just don’t excpect carefree sex ever again. ๐Ÿ˜€

    I love you, and I think that it is hillarious that you are all having this conversation.

  15. That’s funny. I have a friend who is getting it done while I type. I’ll have to let you know what he says about it! As for checking it out on Youtube…there are some things that should never be uploaded…

    1. I had my vasectomy yesterday. I was freaked out beforehand, but was relieved at how little discomfort I had during or after.
      The percocets are a plus! Just like a dental visit….only thing you feel is the lidocaine shot. I conversed with the doc during the whole thing….no big deal. Then you can lay around and eat pills.

  16. shane…

    just to let you know…
    a friend of mine had this surgery recently and the doctor had to prescribe him “sweat-pants” for a week.

    i think you can do the math.

    stem (father of 3)

  17. Do we need to compare swelling too? Because if you do recall that is an unpleasant side effect of shoving a babies head through you know where. That and more stiches. And A LOT more bleeding. Need I go on? ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. now, i don’t want to start a fight…but child birth is the beginning of new life while visectomy is, well, the end of it.

  19. Wow! How odd to stumble upon your post…
    My husband just had a vas reversal on Tuesday, 13 years after we decided a vasectomy was a good idea. That being said.. I do not recommend it and I don’t know how to convey to you how strongly it was regretted. At the risk of sounding like a broken record.. children are a blessing.. I wish we had truly recognized that before the vasectomy, it would have saved us a lot of Please reconsider.. that is all I know to say.
    If you have any questions as to why we regretted the vasectomy or what prompted us to have it reversed… fire away! Just drop us an email if you want.
    Have a great day!

  20. As parents of a four-year-old who is the joy of our lives, and as a couple eagerly awaiting the arrival of our second child, we are keenly aware of what a tremendous blessing children are.

    We are also well aware of what having a vasectomy means.

    That being said, our personal decision regarding the number of children we are going to have is not up for public discussion or debate. Especially with people who know nothing at all about us, our history with trying/having children, whatever health concerns we might have regarding childbearing based on our history, our goals in life and ministry, etc.

    Our convictions have always guided our family planning. We prayerfully discerned when the right time for us to have our fist child would be, we surrendered to God’s will (and timing) in making a decision to have a second child. We have never allowed the opinions of others to interfere with our convictions.

    I’m willing to be open and honest regarding alot of things. I’m talking about the vasectomy here because there are a number of men out there who will be facing the same questions I have regarding the procedure. I would hope my experience with this would help their decision making, ease their fears, help better prepare them down the road, etc.

    I’ll talk about my vasectomy. But our decision making regarding family planning will always be a private matter between us and God.

  21. Dear Shane,
    Golly! I believe for some reason you took my comment on your post completely the wrong way. I read over my comment again to make sure I didn’t sound hateful or condescending as that was not my intent… after re-reading it I did not find that to be the case. I was just simply offering our experience with a vasectomy. I was not implying that you did not believe children are a blessing, that would be ridiculous. Maybe I am taking your reply wrong, that is very possible, since determining tone via internet is near impossible. From what I can glean from your reply I get the feeling you felt I was attacking you… which I was not. If you were on the defense in your reply, why did you feel the need to do so? I NEVER suggested anything about your personal family planning, how many children etc… all I did was tell you our experience, all for you to consider. You asked for “counsel” from someone who has already had a vasectomy and I offered you our experience which went beyond post op.
    Anywho … just wanted to try and clarify and make peace. If I took your reply wrong please let me know.
    Grace and Peace,
    Tina :0)

  22. Stem’s comment, and your urging me to “reconsider” because “children are a blessing” both seemed like loaded comments. Maybe I read too much into it, maybe I didn’t. Tough to know people’s intent.

    So I felt the need to nip it in the bud. Maybe it was justified, maybe it wasn’t.

    Problem is, I have a tendency to – while nipping things in the bud – cut too far down, yank the thing out by its roots, and eventually dig up the entire garden.

    That being said. If apologies are in order – I’m sorry. If you’d care to share more, feel free.

  23. A few simple questions prior to “nipping things in the bud” may have saved you a lot of trouble! It would have been more beneficial to inquire about my intent before you made assumptions and became defensive. I would have gladly explained. Ask questions first… shoot later! Furthermore I thought I was being friendly, I am sorry you felt differently. I am sorry I upset you, but truly your dismay was unnecessary.

    To let you know… “comments were not loaded” and the “bud nipping” was unjustified, being I am the author of the comment I can assure you my intent was good and kind. I re-read your first reply and you sounded pretty presumptuous and just plain old mad.. both unwarranted. I hope I have made my intent plain and you no longer have to wonder if I meant harm by my words.
    Blessings to you and your family!
    Solus Christus,

  24. I can only offer you advice from our personal experience. At the time it seemed like the best thing to do, but years later things changed.
    With age a lot of things change.. opinions, finances, goals and desires. If you had asked me 13 years ago if our family was complete I would have said absolutely! We had four beautiful children… plenty right?? Years went by and I would have still said we were done but not until recently did God change our hearts. The problem? That pesky vasectomy, which tends to usually be permanent without substantial cost and even then there is no guarantee. We came from the standpoint you are at..I can relate, in fact 6 months ago I probably would have agreed with you. As I said .. God changed our hearts and the vasectomy that was once helpful became a heartache. All I am saying is a vasectomy is pretty permanent as we were also keenly aware of. My point is that if God could change our hearts down the road who is to say he wouldn’t change your hearts and desire for children down the road as well.. not to mention any financial and health situations.
    I just wanted to offer our experience for you to consider along with everyone else’s opinions/experiences.

  25. In case anyone out there is curious, a vasectomy reversal currently goes for around $6,000-$15,000 and is not covered by most insurance plans.

    For comparison’s sake, going on “the pill” until menopause could be equally as expensive. Using us as an example (she’s 28, we’ll call “menopause” 50, and last time we were on “the pill” it ran us $30 a month), we’d spend about $7,920 preventing further pregnancies by that method.

    The actual cost of a vasectomy is around $500 – $1,000, and they are covered by most insurance plans.

    In terms of the effectiveness of vasectomy reversal … According to this source:

    Between 75% and 97% of men who have a vasovasostomy [most common reversal method], see their sperm return to their ejaculate within three months. Between 40% and 60% of these men achieve a pregnancy within 2 years.

    In summary, vasectomies are more “permanent.” But they are also way more cost effective as most are covered by insurance.

    I imagine if we found ourselves in our mid-40s and longing for another child there would be several options available to us. Vasectomy reversal being one. Adoption would more likely be the route we’d take – there’s lots of babies out there who need families. Or we could buy a puppy. ๐Ÿ˜†

    I kid. I don’t mean to make light of Tina’s situation. I’m sorry you regretted your decision in the long run and I hope that – if it truly is God’s desire for you to have another child at this stage in the game – the reversal would prove to be successful and that he would bless you with another child soon.

  26. Yeah Shane, I must agree…

    With the $$ spent on reversal, you could use that money towards adoption and bless the life of yet another person. I think that’s a very good way to have another child should you and Cheryl at some point decide that you feel God is leading you in that way.

  27. oh geesh…my comment got internetted! (this is the phrase i now use whenever i don’t make something clear or someone takes it the wrong way)

    i was responding to cheryl’s comment about how bad child birth was. my point was that birthing a child, though painful, has a joyful conclusion. vasectomy, though not as painful, involves tinkering around with a sodering gun around a man’s groin…effectively ending his “life”.

    re-reading my post, i see how it could be misconstrued.

    ps…my wife and i watched a video of a vasectomy on youtube. she said “no big deal”…i squirmed in my seat and drank some vodka

  28. @Stem: See! When flare ups occur, just chalk it up to my hypersensitivity and generally combative demeanor!! ๐Ÿ˜†

    Given the proper context, Your comment was actually quite funny!

    @Matty J: Concerning adoption. I’d say it’s a possibility that is slightly on our radar down the road. I couldn’t put a probability on it or anything, but we’ve batted the idea around from time to time. Who knows. Not likely, but possible.

    As far as the ravages of labor and childbirth. We’re going two and out. We went from not wanting any, to not being sure if we could even have one, to everything Cheryl endured with her health for the three years after Josiah was born, to wanting a second but being disappointed after our “trying” didn’t work, to being elated when God slipped one in there despite our best efforts, to now being completely elated with the anticipation of our new arrival while praying like the dickens Cheryl doesn’t experience post-partum massive health suckage V 2.0 after this baby is born.

    She has (very sacrificially) given me two sons. Two arrows in my quiver (one in case I miss?). I couldn’t ask for more. From her or from life.

  29. Thank you for your well wishes regarding our hopes for more children! Oh and for the record.. our reversal was only 1500.00… not bad considering some of the other prices we were quoted.
    Hey! Are you implying that I am in my mid 40’s?? ๐Ÿ™‚
    Blessing to your family!

  30. @Tina: Well from what I’ve gathered from your feelance work for Christianity Today, your MySpace page, your Yahoo 360! page, etc., I know a bit more about you than you might realize. (I’m an expert online stalker. ๐Ÿ˜† )

    But I was mostly speaking about myself. Thirteen years from now I’ll be 45.

  31. Aw I see you are master googler too! Type my name on google and you better have some time to kill…lol. You must realize though that I only allow people to know what I want them to know via the internet freeway. You wouldn’t believe how many people have called my home regarding my work for Christianity Today… privacy is unheard of in the internet …but that is ok.
    Have a great day! ๐Ÿ™‚

  32. no shane, no.

    remember, you can always damage yourself beyond your wildest dreams online.


    ps…celtics in 6 over LA

  33. Hey Shane, I’m in the same boat. One kid down, another on the way (been awhile since we last talked, huh) and no desire for another in sight. My wife and I have decided that if this one is a boy, we are done.

    Nothing said in this post so far has really discouraged me. Sweat pants and swelling for a week, big deal. Just the chance of sleeping through one night within the next 5 years is worth that.

  34. hi, i was wanting to use the picture u have as im as student having to produce a leaflet about vasectomy, where did you get the picture from so i can put a ref on it

  35. Dude, treating permanent commitments as “reversible” is why we have a 50% divorce rate in this country..

    And, not that you needed to know anyway, but both lanes are still open on the highway.

    But thanks for the spam! ๐Ÿ˜†

  36. Well, my wife would not let me go through that.
    We just had our second baby through C-Section and she got the tubal ligation done. She was already opened and they did it. NOT to say that it is any better for the woman to go through it but she wanted to do it.
    I won’t have any babies with other women so I did not need a Vasectomy. I know this post will be NEW compared to when this was posted but I was doing some searches and just came upon this blog. Hope all went well.

  37. Thanks for stopping by JP.

    My wife has often said that if she had to get a C-section for any reason, she would have just had them do tubal ligation while they were in there.

    I still have not had the vasectomy. Since our insurance doesn’t cover it, we’re putting it off for now.

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